Chapter 12 “I’m gonna break my rusty cage and run”

Oww my head, what happened? Shit that wasn’t a dream?? I stood up cautiously, I turned frantically in each direction and yes, everyone was still here. Chris now sat on the bench and was staring at the door. Blotter was punching the wall repeatedly, his fists bloody, bruised and broken. The girl from before was still here, her loud sob seems to have died down to a quiet weep. I went and sat next to Chris, leaning back and trying to calm down. “What are we going to do?” I finally asked “I Shall VANQUISH this CURSED DRAGON NEXT TIME HE brings a CAPTIVE!!!” Blotter turned and shouted with a face that made my blood run cold. His eyes had gone completely black and he had been biting his lips so they were bleeding heavily. Sadly that was the best plan we had, I looked over at the weeping girl and asked out of boredom “What’s your name, man?” She looked up slowly”I-it’s….Sonja.” She stated uneasily “Much obliged, I’m Charlie, and the one next to me is Chris” “sup” he said “and that crazy motherfucker is referred to as Blotter” He bashed his head into the wall as some fucked-up form of recognition.

“So what’s your story?” her face twisted a little in despair “Well, me and my parents were going through Seattle, but we were overrun by those….things, we took shelter in a skyscraper.” “What was the name of it?” “I dunno, something like columbine or Columbia, anyway we took shelter there but this tall man dressed in a cop uniform, badge and everything, killed my parents and knocked me out.” “I’m sorry, how old are you?” “Sixteen, why?” “No reason, shit, hell of a world to bring a kid into.” I breathed deep, leaning back. I scratched at my beard impatiently, suddenly I heard a noise. The door opened again and I saw that man again, now that I looked at him he was dressed as a cop. He held another captive over his shoulder as he walked, he unlocked out door.

“HAVE AT YOU FOUL BEAST!!!” Was all that could be heard before I saw Blotter tackle the cop and gouge out his eyes. He punched him in the teeth until blood spilled out his mouth onto the cold ground. The cop was panicked but could do nothing; Blotter now held him with his thumbs pushing into his eyes and was bashing his head into the ground. “I SHALL FIGHT YOU TO SAVE THE FAIR PRINCESS!” He screamed, now frantically scratching at his flesh, ripping it off in little ribbons. I ran out the door and kicked him in the stomach as this was happening; the little shit was making the most inhuman sounds in all the agony. His eyes were gone, his teeth busted in, skin missing in strips, Blotter finally finished by standing up and jumping, he landed on the man’s chest and it caved in. He stopped moving, another exhibit of why you don’t fuck with someone high on acid.

“It’s okay now guys, come on.” I said happily, spitting on the corpse on the way out. “He’ll come back, would you like to do the honor, Sonja?” I continued, handing her a nightstick from a weapon rack, she grabbed it with delight and as soon as she heard the familiar sickly wheezing she bashed it’s undead brain in. “Thanks, I feel better now.” She said, I was glad I made her feel better, but I needed to get out of there “hey do ya wanna come with us on our journey out of Seattle?” “um sure, got no one else anyway.” She replied “gee thanks. In any case let’s go.” I said, looking for my bass. Paydirt, inside a room marked evidence was all my stuff, as well as Chris’ katana and Blotter’s Jessicka. “Come get your stuff.” Chris was the first to mention it “Holy shit though Blotter, that was intense!” he remarked as he grabbed his katana “I require no need for thanks.” He said, his voice doing strange things to every word. He grabbed his knife and walked out with me, I found another knife in there so I gave it to Sonja just in case.

When we stepped outside I took a moment to take in the fresh air, the sweet taste of freedom. Somehow the bastard dragged us all the way to the police station, and then I saw how. He had a police cruiser which still had gas; I got in the driver seat and told people to get in. “alright gramps floor it” Sonja said after she was buckled in, Chris was sitting next to me and blotter was behind me as I started to hotwire the car. After a little bit of tinkering it sprang to life and I went full speed to get the fuck out of here. I rolled down my window and stuck my head out. I could feel the cold air rush past me, my hair flowed in the wind. Nothing better than going ninety in a stolen cop car, after killing the owner of course. I saw a big group of zombies and I plowed right through them, listening to the bumps and squishes. “Where do you wanna go?” I asked Chris, he chuckled and said “Destination, anywhere but here.”

Chapter 11 “Awww fuck it I guess I lost.”

I slowly opened my eyes only to see metal bars. I looked around, Chris was against the wall, presumably still asleep and Blotter was curled up in a ball muttering some shit about nothing being real. I slowly stood up to try and get a feel for my environment, I slid on my glasses. The walls were grey concrete; there were a few benches in our large locked cell, if I had to guess I’d say we were dragged here. I walked up to the bars and took hold, with everything I had I pushed against them, but to no avail. In my frustration I punched the wall, all that caused was a bleeding hand. I walked over to chris and kicked him “Get up! Get up and look at this shit!” I yelled “Nothing real. Nothing real. Nothing real.” Blotter droned on “Shut up!” I yelled. “Eh what I…WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCKING FUUUCK!!!” Chris said upon waking “Good, you’re awake now.”

I sat on the bench and looked around again, there was a corpse sitting in the corner. It appeared fresh, hadn’t even got maggots yet. It was thin, I’m guessing he died of starvation, as I thought about it I heard a far off door open. A tall angry looking asshole stepped through the door to the hallway near the cells, he had what looked like a fifteen year old girl slung over his shoulder. He opened the door and threw her in “Play nice faggots.” He walked away with all the authority of someone who knew he held all the cards. I shook the girl assuming she was sleeping, she shook even more, she was crying. “What did he do?” I asked as non-threatening as possible “That….That bastard killed my parents and took me here!” She barely managed to say that much before breaking back down again.

I stood up again, I looked around for some means of escape but there was only one door and no windows. I looked around frantically, maybe if I could find my bass I could bash down the….iron. “Fuck! My katana is gone!” I heard Chris angrily scream “Nothing real. Nothing real. Nothing real.” Blotter droned on. I’ve had it! I grabbed him by his collar and stared into his eyes, they had turned black. Something tells me weed isn’t the heaviest thing he’s ever done. “NOTHING REAL!” He screamed, pushing me, I got knocked clear into the bars, fucker was strong. I think I passed out again…

Chapter 10 “you’re gonna bleed, you’re gonna scream, you’re gonna fuckin die”

As of now my friends and I are about to run out of this corpse strewn building and into the zombie filled city. This isn’t only crazy and suicidal, it is borderline retarded, but I couldn’t stop grinning. I hadn’t been this happy since the time I found that zombie cop wandering around. I pulled my cap down over my eyes and started breathing deep. Everything was perfect, the calm between the storms. When I listened I could hear them talk, they were saying “kill me.” With a blood-thirsty scream I charged out the door and into the midday sun.

I brought my bass down hard killing one outright, another tried to grab me but I ducked and brought my fist up to meet his face. I snapped one’s neck before it could turn around and broke the legs of about three or four in a broad sweeping motion. One it seems had died of a slit throat which I used as an excuse to grab his head and rip it from his neck, blood shot everywhere as I laughed. One of them I just kept punching in the eye until he collapsed. By the time the others caught up with me I was covered in blood, cackling like a madman and beating the crap out of zombies. Chris went to work cutting down zombies; I could tell he was surprised I had survived at all.

“HAHAHAHA Nice of you two to join us, we were having a lovely little chat weren’t we?” I chuckled, turning to a zombie and getting it into a choke hold “WEREN’T WE!!!” no answer “FINE THEN!” I snapped its neck like a twig, laughing all the while. “Sounds enthralling, sorry I had to miss such witty banter.” Chris replied, chopping off the head of a rather large zombie, he fell over and his blood gushed out by the gallon. He gutted another, slicing across his stomach, its intestines spilled out like spaghetti. Is it wrong if that made me hungry? I looked to my left just then and saw Blotter stabbing a zombie in the eyes repeatedly, made me smile.

After I had finished pounding a particularly smelly one into the pavement I got up looking for something else, but they were all dead. I guess I should be happy we won without any casualties. That is impressive in this type of situation, especially considering how suicidal we all fought. “Well shit”I finally said “um mission accomplished.” “High-five!” Chris said, and lo it came to pass a high-five was had on that day, one between each of us, so sayeth the Sheppard so sayeth the flock. Sorry….not really sure where that came from, “We should keep moving, no rest for the wicked and such.” Blotter said “Miles to go before we sleep and so forth.” I replied. We moved north trying to get out of the city as quick as possible but we knew it was entirely possible that we’d spend another night in this city.

It was a big city and we got lost quick, it got dark quick too. We wandered in circled until we found a building that looked open. “What’s this?” I asked “I think it’s called something like columbo or Columbia or some shit.” Chris answered “Wanna check why the doors are unlocked?” “umm I guess.” Chris replied after a minute. We slowly crept into the old building, walking slowly. The building looked deserted and by the third floor I was sure of it. We found a spot that somehow looked softer than the other parts of the floor and we set up camp. Chris and Blotter started talking but I would have none of that, curling up and drifting off.

Chapter 9 “I am become death.”

Light shown through the giant windows of what now appeared to be a conference room, as a seemingly fruitless act of rebellion I kicked through each of the windows. The ensuing sound woke up my sleeping friends, before they could say anything I took a leak out the window onto the heads of the fucking zombies below. “Yeah, take it hahahaha.” I chuckled to myself as I went “Ummm, morning?” Chris said after a while. When I finished I screamed “FUCK YOU” out the window and began to prepare for the ensuing battle towards uptown. When I stopped to think about it we had only gone about four or five blocks, something tells me Seattle’s a lot bigger than that. It seemed like it was going to be a hot day but I could feel a cool breeze which brought the smell of rotten flesh straight up.

“So what was that all about?” Chris asked once he stood up “Oh just to prove I can.” “I think it’s my turn.” Blotter said plainly, walking up to the ledge and doing his business “Well I guess so, shit.” Chris finally muttered. I looked over the city, I took in everything, the moans of the dead sounded like a dull hum from this distance. For a brief morbid second I contemplated jumping, but decided against it for a bevy of reasons. “Hey you guys hungry?” Blotter finally asked “I killed a dog a while back.” “It wasn’t a ZOMBIE dog was it?” I asked mockingly “Don’t be stupid, everyone knows they aren’t real. Fucking mutt did bite me though.” He continued, flaying the things skin off with his knife.

Against everyone’s better judgment, we cooked the meat over a fire we had set inside the building. Inside a trash can no less. I gnawed greedily away at the piece I was given, grasping it in my hands as I grinded it away chunk by chunk. “This is good man, you can really cook.” I complimented “Thank you, I worked at Denny’s before the shit hit the fan.” He replied while eating his piece “We really should get going.” “I concur” I….concurred. We all gathered our things and started walking downstairs. I took down the barricade I had placed behind the door to the lobby last night. The lobby was filled to the brim with zombies. Tall zombies, short zombies, fat zombies, thin zombies, even zombie children GASP!

I big toothy grin sat on my face as I bashed in all their skulls, each and every one became nothing more than big goopy piles of flesh and bone. I could hear their bones snap like twigs at the blunt force of my bass. Their necks snapping, spines breaking, legs chopped off and stomachs disemboweled. By the end all three of us were covered in blood and brains, the lobby was clear now.” All we have to do now is keep this up for the entire duration of our trip north.” I thought to myself, bracing for the ensuing street battle. A single zombie stepped slowly through the front door; he looked at me with what seemed almost like recognition “guuuuuuu…” he moaned weakly, a smile cracked my face without hesitation “Are you challenging me?”

The zombie tried to move toward me but as soon as he did my bass smashed through his head, blood spurting everywhere. I clocked him in the head again, but the thing was still standing so I broke his legs. It reached up at me in futility so I smashed in his head repeatedly, nothing but another pile of dead now. I haven’t had fun like this in a good long time, not since my glory days of beating up rednecks. I looked around to make sure both my companions were alright, of course they were. You either fight or die in this dystopian future of ours. “You guys ready for true chaos?” I asked with a big toothy grin which Chris replied “When am I NOT ready for chaos?”

Chapter 8 “it’s easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of the battlefield.”

The stars were out so we opted out on the whole “finding shelter” deal, an all-nighter seems as though it was called for now. I can’t sleep when such beauty surrounds me either way; I guess it was fortunate I never really got a real girlfriend. I started seeing zombies again, and the frequency of the sightings was increasing as well. We were on the hiway toward Seattle, the skyline looked enchanting, if I tried really hard I could imagine it in its glory days. With every light shining and the smell of cigarettes filling my head, I’ve always loved the smell of cigarettes though I was never a smoker.

As I bashed in the skull of a particularly ugly zombie I thought of all the good times I’ve had in Seattle, oh wait, never mind. “Huuuuuu….” I let loose a malcontent sigh and took off my coat; I needed to feel the cold tonight. Everything had become heightened, the air felt crisp and it bit my throat. I stretched my hat down over my face; the wool tickled my eyes as I kept looking at the sky. Why had I survived this long? What right did I have to breathe this air when so many had ceased to long ago. What fair and loving god would kill so many of his children and then prance their corpses around like marionettes? And after all that why spare the suicidal ones? Maybe we’re just what remain of a cynical god who long ago got sick of his toys.

I opened my eyes again and took my hat off. We were within an hour of Seattle I could almost see the streets. My god. The streets were full to the brim with those undead bastards. I could barely see the street. “Do you see this?” I asked uncomfortably “Fraid so, that’s why I hired you two.” “What’s wrong, don’t think you’re up to it?” Chris mocked shortly after blotter spoke. A smile crept across my face “It’s a good day to die.” I put my coat back on as a sort of half-assed protection, along with my hat just in case I run into one who was hungry for brains. I grabbed my bass firmly by the neck as I smash in a zombie’s head; Chris followed my lead slicing heads here and there. It seems Blotter was quite partial to stabbing; he had a tendency to jump on whatever he was stabbing, like a cat, a strange weirdly psychotic hobo-cat.

We made a bloody, body-strewn path from building to building, trying to find a door that opens. Finally after about eleven buildings and roughly sixty-something zombies we found refuge in what seems to be an old law firm. I tried the lights, didn’t work unsurprisingly, we quickly blocked the door to the stairs and ascended a few stories. Our new friend had an electronic lamp thing, not really sure what it’s called…He placed it in the middle of the room and sat next to it. I joined him and got out a blanket which I wrapped around myself quickly, Chris sat down as well. We were in a city filled with zombies with very little chance of survival. I could hear the collective moans of thousands of zombies. I in no way felt safe, but weed made me sleepy, besides if they take me, they’ll take me in my sleep, relatively painless…Keep it wild Seattle.

Chapter 7 “We were somethin beautiful baby, what the hell happened?”

It seems as though people had made their own little township in the middle of the ruins of Tacoma, complete with shops and even what appeared to be a bar with homemade beer. We walked through the town until I heard a faint, malicious whisper “Hey man, you want some weed? Grew it myself.” I walked up to him “I don’t exactly have money.” I stated, pondering on the stupidity of my statement. “I’m not looking for money, I’m looking for services.” “Woah I don’t swing that way pal, I don’t care how long I’ve gone without weed.” “No asshole, I want transport through seattle and you and your friend there look rather violent, everyone around here is pacifistic it seems.” He stated calmly. I paused for a second, “How much weed we talking here?” I finally asked warily, I eyed him suspiciously as he took a ziploc baggie out, it was full to the brim, the bag was the size of my head. “Jesus, this would last us years!”

“What do you think Chris?” “That’s an awful lot of weed, it’d make livin easier. Why does he need us though?” “Supposedly Seattle is filled with zombies, no one survived the outbreak.” “Bullshit I survived.” “naww I mean the actual city, you lived in a suburb of Seattle.” “Sounds dangerous.” “Sounds funs, what’s wrong, don’t think you’re up to it?” I teased “Of course I am. We’ll do it.” Chris finally said to the man. We left that little township with the man after we had bought some essential supplies, a few homemade brews, and a few handgrenades some crazy bastard just handed to us. We walked toward Seattle; Seattle was always my favorite part of living in Washington, The true capital of Washington, the origin of grunge and a hotspot for new music. Kinda like new York without the corruption.

“So what’s your name?” “Names aren’t important, call me blotter for now.” “Blotter?” I asked “long story” “oh, I’ll ask later.” I took a long look at the man, sized him up, he looked weird. Sunken eyes and an overgrown beard, he wore an old dusty hat to keep the sun out of his eyes. He looked at me uneasily “You aren’t going to just kill me and take my weed are you?” I was taken aback by his question “not unless you give me dirt weed when this is all over.” I replied jokingly, hoping he’d be put at ease. “I guess life is full of surprises.” he said cynically “I try not to make this whole ‘zombie apocalypse’ harder than it has to be on anyone else.” The man’s spirit clearly had been close to broken one too many times, I guess I can say I relate.

Chris looked over at the man “So what’s your weapon of choice?” “Excuse me?” The man asked, clearly taken aback by it “Ya know, I use a katana, and Charlie here is quite partial to his old bass, what about you?” He showed a sign of recognition now; he reached into his shabby coat and pulled out a sharp knife about the length of his arm, longer than a dagger but shorter than a sword. “Can I see it?” Chris asked after staring at it a while “um sure, just be careful.” He handed him the thing, Chris snatched it greedily “does it have a name?” “Jessicka.” “An ex I take it?” “Lucky guess.” Chris ran his finger along the blade carefully “Sharp, nice point, great handle, I take it she broke your heart as well.” “She cut as deep as that deadly blade will” He said with a sort of playful cynicism.

My mind was sinking with the setting sun, as we walked I got an idea. “What do ya say we test out that weed ya got?” As they turned around I pull out my old pipe, worn and blood stained, used to say OH THE PLACES YOU’LL GO on the side. Blotter pinched off a particularly dank nug and put it in the bowl. I lit it up and breathed it deep, my eyes closed as I remembered the last time I had smoked, a single tear ran down my cheek. Chris took it from my hands as I stood with my eyes closed; I thought about the girl who had given me that pipe, my smoky exhale was still very much a sigh. When I finally opened my eyes the world was bright and welcoming, everything was wonderful and I could see our new guest inhaling deep. “let’s go, those zombies aren’t going to kill themselves.” I said brightly when we finished the bowl.

Chapter 6 “He who makes a beast out of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man.”

I awoke to see Chris sitting on his bed with a note in his hands “I found this near the body” he said without even looking up “listen to this.” He unfolded the wadded up note and read its contents “I can hear them coming….the not-right ones….I have an old-fashioned six shooter…It almost seems to be waiting for the ensuing horror, anticipating the lurking horrors, a chance to finally have purpose…I can hear the restless moaning getting closer, the heavy footsteps of the recently deceased.…..I fired two of my shells into an abomination as it broke through the door. It fell to the ground with a heavy thud…Four shells left……a quiet, hopeless reassurance. I leaned back against the wall, exhaling heavily…..The door has been broken down now, I wasted three shots killing two of the shambling monsters……I can’t do this….I’m NO KILLER!!!....One bullet left……goodbye……” he said it all in a somber tone; I took a good look for the first time at the whole scene. Every single one had rotted to the bone after all these years, flies were all over the place, maggots writhed in the remains. I really can sleep through anything; I’m surprised I survived the initial outbreak.

With every passing second my disgust grew “We should get out of here.” I said shakily, sliding on my hat. It was obvious my compadre had the same notion as he was putting on his coat “good idea.” We left that room a little shaken, and we both needed food. The only bad thing about getting to eat yesterday was that we remembered what we were missing. On more than one occasion I’ve wondered what would happen if a human were to eat a zombie, never tried it though, god knows what kind of diseases they have. And then another theory popped in my head, one slightly less abhorrent “do you think zombies feel pain?” He looked back, wondering whether or not I actually asked “um what?” he finally said “do you think zombies feel pain, man?” I repeated, by now I actually wanted to know.

“Well let’s see” Chris said deviously, unsheathing his sword and running up to one that was in the distance “excuse me kind sir, can you feel this?” He chopped off the zombie’s arm “RAAAAH!!!” the zombie screamed in anguish. “Didn’t quite catch that.” Chris chopped off his other arm “AAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!” it’s face twisted in pain “Oh I think he said yes.” He said, looking at me as if to say “yeeeah you can’t front on that.” “Oh fine I guess they can.” I said, taking his sword and chopping off the zombies head. “Well that killed about ten minutes” I said cynically “where do you wanna go now?”

“I heard there’s a whole colony of survivors in downtown Tacoma” he stated, turning down a road to our left “maybe we can get some supplies, food, water, weapons, maybe even shelter.” Sounds like a plan I can get behind, I just hope he’s right; he usually is so I shouldn’t be so paranoid, but given the circumstances I have every right to. “Sounds good, lead the way.” I said following close behind. When I really think about it, the apocalypse wasn’t so bad, everything is free. The few remaining people are friendly in the off chance that I’ll help them, and at least they weren’t running zombies; I don’t have the cardio to deal with running zombies.

The deeper we got into Tacoma the more people we saw, it seems as if every zombie was killed in this town. I haven’t had the pleasure of killing one of the zombies in several miles. Some people would even have the courtesy to say hello. Of course it wasn’t true about the zombies, but it seemed as if people didn’t really care enough to kill anymore, like they were done with it, they were easy enough to avoid it seems. All this time I had rushed to kill every single one I saw, is that who I am? Am I just a murderer with a free pass? Well, it’s kinda like whack-a-mole, but instead of moles there’s zombies and instead of popping up randomly they walked toward you slowly, kill one? Fifty points! Wait…What the fuck is wrong with me? “Charlie?” I heard from what seemed like a million miles away “yes?” I said after a brief silence “we’re here.”